Foolish...

So I went out on a limb last night and sorta spilled my guts, silly me thought it went well. But I should have known better. Why I continue to be so foolish I'll never know, and why I seem to like the unobtainable I'll never know, and why I let the unobtainable win me over only to spit me out I'll never know. What I do know though, is I need to go back to being cold, it was easier and less painful. And not painful in the heart broken sense but more like the self respect painful. I don't like being the butt of jokes-another notch on the post-another entry into the log book. I value relationships and take nothing for granted, but what have i started in the last several weeks but a multitude of the shelf paper relationships with people, where they could take me or leave me, and appear to only want me around when all else fails. Its been hard to swallow, here I thought I was genuinely fun to be around-guess not. I'm going to try my best not to let it get to me, I've had a lot of fun and will continue to do so, if nothing else it has all made me realize I'm still alive, something that for so long I didn't think was the case. Ok 8AM-I have to get sleep, I just needed to get it out...